Dear Colonel
by Griffinkhan
Summary: [Oneshot] During the one month lull after the Absorption Gate, Anise decides to get a pen pal.


_A.N: Set after the Absorption Gate._

* * *

Sylphday, Ifrit-Decan 39

Dear Colonel,

How are you? ♥ I hope you are better than I am. Daath is sooo boring, I don't know how I ever managed to live here before. Ion is always busy too. He's doing way too much work, it can't be healthy at all. At least Mohs isn't here to bug him. Though everybody else does enough of that, what with people complaining about us not reading the Score.

I haven't heard anything from the others yet. I guess they're all busy, huh? You're probably busy too, so I won't take up too much more of your time. Please write back soon though, Colonel, and give my best to Emperor Peony and Guy♪!

With love,  
Anise ♥

* * *

Dear Colonel,

...Did you get my last letter? Maybe it didn't make it. I know you wouldn't be _deliberately ignoring_ me or anything, right? ♪

Anyway... there isn't much new in my life since last time. Mama and Papa are the same as always. I've started screening the mail for them. Papa thinks every piece of junk mail is an amazing offer and keeps ordering things we don't need... Honestly, some days I think I'm the only person with a brain in Daath.

...speaking of that, I've gotta go. Looks like Reiner managed to get himself stuck in one of the teleport glyphs again. That guy doesn't know what to do with himself now that Dist isn't here to order him around...

Much love,  
Anise ♥

* * *

Dear Colonel,

Really, are you getting these? It's not polite to ignore a lady's messages, you know! Pleeeeease write back! I'm dying of boredom over here! You wouldn't want to have my slow and horrible death on your conscience, right?

Waiting patiently,  
Anise ♥

* * *

Dear Colonel,

WRITE BACK DAMMIT.

Anise. ♥

* * *

Gnomeday, Ifrit-Decan 41

Dear Anise,

It may have been more fruitful for you to wait more than a single day before despairing for my reply. Though I did find your frustration amusing. Especially the belief implicit in your third letter that I _have_ a conscience.

Malkuth is not much more interesting than Daath at the moment, I'm afraid. The Emperor is dealing with tying up all the red tape left over from lowering the land. He would get it done far faster if he spent more time working and less time complaining to me.

As for Guy... well, I shouldn't tell you what he has been up to. I'm sure he'd much rather inform you himself.

Sincerely,

Col. Jade Curtiss  
Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces

* * *

Really, Colonel,

You shouldn't sign your letters so formally! I'm not a foreign dignitary or something, you know! I'm your friend! And also, 'sincerely'? Since when are you sincere about anything? I'm joking, I'm joking♪

Anyway, um... sorry about the letters mixup, hehe I got a bit carried away there. They probably all came on the same mail boat, didn't they? Oh, and that fourth letter—please disregard it, ok? ♥

Ooh, is Guy up to something bad? ♪ I want all the juicy details! Though I guess it can't be too bad, cause of his condition... sigh The only gossip we get around here is about who slept through prayers and who cheated at bingo. I want action! Drama! The big city! I don't want to be stuck here forever with no prospects at all... feel free come kidnap me and sweep me off to a life of luxury and ease anytime, Colonel! ♥

Eternally yours,  
Anise ♥

* * *

Ms. Tatlin,

Friend, is it? How interesting.

Col. Jade Curtiss  
Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces

* * *

Boooo Colonel!

You are mean mean MEAN and I'm laughing right now but it's NOT BECAUSE OF YOU. Reiner was cleaning the upper balcony and splashed water over the edge and it went RIGHT over Maestro Tritheim. It was the funniest thing ever, I almost wished you were here to see it but I didn't because you're MEAN.

Maybe I should start writing to Luke instead. He's a noble so he should know how to write a nice letter to a lady. ♥ ...Then again his handwriting is horrible so maybe not.

Not with love, ever,  
Anise. ♥

* * *

Dear Anise,

My my, such a terrible loss, that. I'm afraid I won't sleep soundly at night any longer until your love returns. I also am deeply wounded by your calling me 'mean' in such bold, capital letters. I shall probably be affected for life. As if the effects of my old age weren't enough of a burden to bear...

Guy said to tell you hello, and for me to be "nicer" to you. Have you been gossiping to him in letters, Anise? That is not very proper behavior for a young lady with marriage prospects, now is it?

Farewell, but I will surely be forced to answer another letter soon enough,   
Colonel Jade

* * *

See, Colonel?

It's not that hard to sign a letter nicely, now is it? And I was not gossiping! I was just talking to him, that's all. What have you been doing to him anyway? He says he's been walking rappigs. Very interestingly named rappigs.

Things are really boring here, more so than usual, even. I don't want to admit it, but... I really miss you, Colonel. At least you make things interesting, even when you're mean. ♥

A little love, I suppose,  
Anise. ♥

* * *

Dear Anise,

I make things "interesting," do I? I suppose I must admit that I am also feeling a certain... lack without you around, though that is probably because your letters continually remind me of your existence. Really, Anise, must you constantly aggravate my despair?

Sincerely,  
Colonel Jade.

* * *

Dearest Colonel,

Yes.

More love than last time,  
Anise. ♥

* * *

Dear Anise,

Ah well, I suppose when one is my age, one has to live with minor irritants.

Speaking of 'love', the Emperor has told me to send his. I tried to warn him that it was a poor choice of words, but he insisted.

Sincerely,  
Colonel Jade

* * *

Dearest Colonel,

Really? ♥ He did? ♥ Is this a subtle way of asking for my hand in marriage? If so, tell him I accept! ♪ Oh... but I probably shouldn't have called you "dearest Colonel" then. Just don't show him that part, okay?

Eternally yours (or the Emperor's, whichever of you decides to pop the question officially first),  
Anise ♥

* * *

Dear Anise,

I am afraid the Emperor is still in deep denial where it comes to you, as am I myself. I'm sure we will both come to see your undeniable charm and beauty someday, but that is not today.

I'm afraid also that I will probably not be able to reply to your next letter, as I will be leaving soon for the Rugnican Plains. My division and General Frings' forces are scheduled for some training exercises to break in the new recruits. I will probably be gone for a week or so, so hopefully you will not die of boredom as you threatened before my return.

Sincerely,  
Colonel Jade.

* * *

Remday, Gnome-Decan 28

Dearest Colonel,

Really, you're going to leave me here all alone? Well, I suppose you already have, seeing as I'm hundreds of miles away from you now. I'm annoyed that you're leaving, but I guess soldiers have to keep up with things even in peacetime. That reminds me, I should probably practice my artes some when I get the chance. Not that I'll be needing them anytime soon, but it's best to be prepared! ♪

Ion sends his love also (though mine is still more than his and less platonically too.) He's been looking a lot happier lately. I'm glad he doesn't have to use any more Daathic fonic artes. Maybe now he can just be a happy, normal kid for a change. Well... as normal as a Fon Master can ever be.

Good luck with all your manly training exercises and suchlike! Don't be too harsh on the new guys, they don't understand your unique sense of humor yet. ♥ Oh, and say hi to General Frings for me too. Write to me when you get back!

Love forever,

Anise ♥♪♥

* * *


End file.
